thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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