You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
