i barfeds in our rink
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
