Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
