May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
