Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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