It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We had to coat check the pizza.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
