I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
