my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
