in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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