woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
