birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
