Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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