It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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