He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
