i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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