I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
as a side note pls kill me
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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