There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i now understand why vodka
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
