She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
