i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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