Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
it glows. i had to have it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
