He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
