is your mom at the bar?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize