I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
This toilet bowl is my home.
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