No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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