2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
