I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
