Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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