In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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