I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
