Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
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Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
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C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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