I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
3 2 1 whiskey
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
