Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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