Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
