I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
