I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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