dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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