Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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