gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
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Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
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Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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