Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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