so that wasnt chicken after all
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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