Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize