Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
