all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
