batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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