STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I don't deserve a penis
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
