Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
two words...techno handjob
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
