hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
