I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
