exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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