bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
