omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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