I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
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The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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