On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
