Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
