you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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