I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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