Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
