you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
