She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
