im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
