Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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